My Different Path from Shincheonji
This is my story.
I have read many testimonies about people who once were part of the church Shincheonji and no longer are. Everyone has their own story of how they chose to take a different path.
I also am someone who left the organization main reason being personal issues and conflicts.
I cannot say that being part of Shincheonji was a bad decision. In fact, all my time spent there was a time of joy and was a time I stayed motivated to do well, always being pushed to be my best.
I loved the fact that not only I learned about God and improved my life of faith, but received a lot of help and support from the people there, they would help in different areas of my life, not only my faith.
The people in this organization are sincerely some of the best people I got to meet in my life. As a mother and head supporter of my family, I often struggled with bringing the essentials home, food and daily needs. Even though it was hard I had a strong will power to do it and work hard for it. After all, all my life I had worked hard for what I had, it was the life I knew and I was accustomed to it.
Coming on to Shincheonji was definitely a new chapter in my life and the start of new beginnings. From understanding the scriptures in the most clear way possible and truly carrying out a life of faith, I learned to see things from the perspective of a true believer, and for a second looked beyond my struggles and difficulties, learning to depend on God.
As wonderful as it sounds, however, it was not easy — at least not for me. I struggled to balance my current responsibilities as a mother, sister, head of the household, and keep my life of faith at my best ability.
However, upon doing this I came upon my biggest enemy which was time and money.
Suddenly I did not have enough time to fulfill my duties. Time was consuming me and although I know giving time for God was a basic of a believer, my time was being consumed with work and family responsibilities.
God knows that I needed to work all the hours I committed myself to in order to be the support my ill family members needed. On top of that, I needed to pay all the house bills, as I mentioned already how being the head of the household gives a lot of responsibilities that I could not easily just give up.
I had to make sacrifices and put first the needs of my family that were at hand. However, doing this made me feel as if I was not fulfilling any of my duties. I was doing things badly, both my responsibilities at home and at church. Deep in my heart, I knew I was not doing things with the proper heart. I was not serving or going to church or attending service or meetings with the heart of joy anymore. It soon enough enough became a burden to me.
There was too much going on in my life and I was at the verge of a mental breakdown. My friends at the church tried to encourage me, pray for me, call me to check in how I was doing. They would drop by my house with food for my kids and stick around to help with basic chores. I was so grateful, but even as they extended their hands of love, I was the one who rejected them.
It was a point in my life that I didn’t know how to handle and the more time went by I couldn’t deny the fact that I was growing distant from the people at church, the church itself but more than anything from God. Deep inside my heart felt ashamed of not having carried out the journey I had begun to know God more. I did what I felt was the correct decision at that moment and that was leaving Shincheonji. We all make choices in life, some more heavier than others, and we have to face the consequences, after all that’s what I myself teach my children.
To this day, things in my life are not better than before. Struggles at home still drain me and there is absolutely nothing I can do to change it. Yes, I don’t have to worry about my responsibilities at church anymore, but I feel that only also resulted in me getting further away from God and weaker in faith.
I often ask myself if things would be different if I had chosen to stay with the church and the people there. But now, I can only think and wonder to myself what that outcome would be because I know the past can’t change.
Do I regret leaving Shincheonji? Yes, I regret leaving the church and leaving God. Having walked away, I know that it’s not easy to go back.